It’s hard you know? Leaving someone you love. Most of the time people see it as selfish like you are just doing it to make yourself happy or to go and sleep around with people. That wasn’t the entire truth for me. I was happily dating a guy from my sophomore year to my junior year of high school. We had been friends since the 6th grade and had dated a little bit in middle school (obviously nothing major) but we had remained friends through nearly everything. I was very happy in our relationship until October 2015 when there was a traumatic death in my family. He didn’t seem to quite understand why I was so upset, he constantly thought I was suicidal and he seemed to make it seem like it was about him. We knew each other so well that we truly didn't go through that honeymoon phase.
After we explored our relationship a little more we instantly became very comfortable with our relationship. Not saying that being comfortable in a relationship is bad or that its routine but in my relationship I was never truly passionate like I wanted to be all over him all the time. I was just head over heels in love with him. I still am to this day. He was my best friend for two years and now he says he doesn’t want to see me anytime soon, which I understand, but I can’t even remember what his voice sounds like or what his laugh sounds like. He has moved on, he has someone else, he deleted our pictures from his phone and social media. I made so many mistakes in our relationship, I truly didn't and still don't deserve him. This isn't a desperate call to him to try and make him love me again but it’s my way of sharing how it is from this side of a relationship and break up. I never considered what I did selfish I considered it healthy.
He deserves someone who is so passionate about life and has dreams as big as his that they help him soar. I never helped him soar I was the weight on his feet holding him back. He deserves someone that makes him happy, that doesn’t make him question what a wonderful person he is. There is a quote from Modern Family that I always loved. Cam said “There are dreamers, and there are realists in this world. You’d think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not, the opposite is true. You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists? Well, without the dreamers they might not ever get off the ground.” So to all you realists out there don’t be afraid to fly too close to the sun and to all you dreamers don’t be afraid to stay on the ground every now and again. This is what I have to say to him: Never give up on your dreams, you're the most talented person I’ve ever met and I will always love you and will always be your best friend. I hope you're happy you deserve nothing less than that.
To all you realists out there like me: Keep thinking about the dreamers and what’s best for them and for you. Leaving him was probably the hardest decision I ever had to make but I hope that he knows now that it was truly the best decision for him. I hope you read this and know that I mean every word. Its never easy leaving someone you love but sometimes love doesn't conquer all.
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