Finding Myself, Loving Myself, Healing and Unlearning

Finding Myself, Loving Myself, Healing and Unlearning

"Loving oneself isn't hard, when you understand who and what 'yourself' is. It has nothing to do with the shape of your face, the size of your eyes, the length of your hair or the quality of your clothes. It's so beyond all of those things and it's what gives life to everything about you. Your own self is such a treasure."

Phylicia Rashad

I think that finding our true authentic selves apart from our families and social background is a huge part of life. So is learning to love ourselves, healing and unlearning. I can honestly say before that I haven't fully went into the work of finding & loving myself until now. This year so far has been a very self-defining year for me.

Growing up my childhood was okay, even though we were in the middle of poverty and gang violence. But it wasn't until I got a little older did life get challenging. I used to try hard to fit in and I often felt out of place like I didn't belong. I also felt I didn't have a voice. Apart of that was from not having a father growing and the other half of that was from always having to adjust. We moved so much that I never spent more than two years in one school. 

Freshmen year and sophomore year of high school, I lost my identity of who I was. I found myself in a lot of drama & hanging around people who didn't reflect who I wanted to be. I knew that it was time to distance myself and look within for the answers, instead of seeking external validation. I often felt unworthy & self conscious during high school. Seeing all my friends with boyfriends & in relationships was something I haven't experienced & wanted to experience very badly. But what I now realize is that, when we are placed alone & stuck at a place where we are "lost", that means that we are in desperate need of OURSELVES. 

We must take time to find & love ourselves because that's the foundation of life. I started the journey of loving myself when I realized that beauty was something that you embodied from the inside. I started the journey of healing & unlearning when I realized that I didn't have to agree with & follow the steps of my family. I stated the journey of finding myself when I realized that NO ONE had the right to define who I was & who I was going to be. 

I am learning that you can love & respect your family even though you don't agree with your upbringing or circumstances that take place in your life. That doesn't mean that you don't love them, it just means that you have a deeper understanding of yourself. I am very proud of the growth and change I have experienced in life and this year. I'm still growing & evolving into the person I want to be. 

I have learned that beauty is an inside job. You don't have to be those that hurt you and you don't have to become your pain. If you have never received love from your peers, then that's just god teaching you that you must find love within yourself so that you can give that to others. 

Everything and everyone in life is here to teach you something & contribute to your growth & evolution. 

There is growth in unlearning. 

There is growth in learning. 

There is growth in knowing who you are. 

There is growth in looking within. 

Half of wisdom is learning what to unlearn. 

You may not STILL be there

but you STILL shouldn't give up. 

- Love Ry

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