In a world of facades of every kind imaginable, coming across people who know how to be intimate are few and far in between. Many of us have been taught to mask our emotion, pain, and everything else in order to fit an "ideal" image, and, because of this, the world is a masquerade of disconnect. How do we know if we're connecting intimately with another or if we're face to face with their mask? What if we are wearing a mask ourselves?
Emotion is the variable that makes or breaks intimacy. Think about history's most moving speakers or someone whose speech has moved you; it wasn't only the story they told but the emotion you felt behind their words that made you feel connected with what they said. Ironically, many of us are searching for this connection while simultaneously disconnecting from how we feel. That is why intimacy, much like other matters of the heart, starts with ourselves.
Presence is key. When we are present with our emotion no matter what we feel, we're connected to ourselves. So many people have no idea what intimacy actually is because they are afraid to be connected to their own emotion, and without that connection there is no intimacy with ourselves or others. People who speak openly about personal topics are often admired for their ability to be vulnerable and intimate. However, intimacy isn't the ability to speak openly about personal topics; it's the ability to be open without detaching emotionally. Even while speaking openly, many people will close themselves off emotionally to feel safe.
If we all made a commitment to be present with ourselves, many of the masks we wear would fall off with no effort at all. Others would be easily removed simply because we'd be aware of the disconnect between how we are truly feeling and how we are interacting with our environment. By being proactive about being present with ourselves, we naturally learn to be present with others, too. This not only causes a shift in how others view us, but also how we view them because once we are consciously aware of our own depths and masks, it's easy to identify another's. Think of it this way: we can't really know others without knowing ourselves.
When all is said and done, intimacy is the difference between sex and making love, talking and connecting, living and experiencing.
Ask yourself: "Am I able to able to express myself openly while feeling and exhibiting my emotion? Am I able to sit and feel my emotion without forcing myself to push it away? What am I holding myself back from because I am afraid of feeling vulnerable?"
Don't wait for your whole life to pass you by before you realize you've spent your life cutting away the connections that make this experience worth living. To truly live life is to live life intimately.
Twitter : thronesofgold