If I Could Turn Back Time

If I Could Turn Back Time

  If I could turn back time I would visit my 11 year old self who would cry everyday after school because the kids in class were calling her names again. "She's the ugliest thing I've ever seen," and "she's so fat! I can't believe she hasn't broke the chair yet." These constant phrases and insults were thrown my way throughout my life and the worst part is I believed every single one of them. 

  I believed them when they called me fat and obese. I believed them when they said I was ugly and worthless. I believed them because I had these awful ideas pounded into my head since I was young and impressionable. I would wrap myself in a blanket of my darkest thoughts and cry, wishing I looked different; wishing I was smarter, but telling myself I could never be worth more than their cruel words.

  If I had the power to turn back time I would rip the blanket off and shout, “You. Are. Beautiful.” I would wipe away my tears and force myself to stand tall and to never let their acidic insults define how I feel about myself. I would tell myself to be proud of the beautiful young lady I am and to be strong. Looking back on it, I can't help but laugh at myself for taking their words to heart, but at the time they ripped me apart. It took me so long to piece myself together, to grasp the fact that I've always been beautiful. 

  My goal is to encourage others who have been beaten down, to be the hand to help them up, to restore their faith in their own worth. I want to help them understand that they are beautiful in every single way and to be the type of person that I needed when I was eleven years old.

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