As a little six year old girl, I would go to sleep dreaming about being Cinderella for a day -having a Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset. I would watch Bollywood movies and dream about being Anjali in the arms of Rahul. When I was in third grade, I dreamed about falling in love like Troy Bolton and Gabriella in High School Musical. Growing up in the American society, I have always dreamed about falling in love with Mr. Right. We see it everywhere, almost every song, music video, movie, and TV show involves love in one way or another. We spend so much time dreaming about love and a happy ending that sometimes we tend to forget that life is not a movie that is being directed, but it is a journey that has obstacles that sometimes can tear us apart.
Before eighth grade, I was always an outcast and saw myself as the ugly girl in my group of beautiful blonde and brunette friends. After moving to North Carolina, I changed my appearance and boys actually began talking to me. When someone who never used to get attention, finally gets even the slightest bit of attention, it goes to the head and I became someone who wasn't me at all. Long story short, I began "dating" a new guy every month. I say "dating" because we were young, all dating meant was holding hands with someone you thought was mildly cute. During the end of my sophomore year, I ran into someone named Richard at school who made me smile, but was not my "type". He was a senior and about to graduate, I was a sophomore, he went out with his friends on the weekends, I studied in my room on weekends, he had a different group of friends than I did...we had basically nothing in common. We started skyping from 11 PM to 4 AM, texting every day, and I began to let my guard down and we began "dating". Obviously I jumped into the relationship thinking he would be just another one of my one-month-long relationships.
When you spend so much time with someone, something magical and scary happens. You begin knowing what the other person is thinking just by looking into their eyes, when you text them you can tell how they feel even if they don't use emojis, you stop caring about how you look in front of them because they tell you you're a 10 even on your worst days. We've now been together for just over two years and two years is a lot of time to make memories. I hate Twitter. I hate Tumblr. Hate it. Absolutely hate it. Social media has brainwashed so many people to make them think that buying makeup for a girl is relationship goals, surprising a guy with new shoes is relationship goals, that going out to a hundred dollar dinner is relationship goals. Don't get me wrong, that stuff is great. But it is not relationship "goals". If your goals in a relationship are only the tangible things, well…need I say more? Why am I with my boyfriend? Because he cares about my well-being, he takes care of me even if it means he has to go an extra mile to do so, he encourages me before taking exams, he looks into my eyes and I can feel that he loves me, and above all, I love my boyfriend because he doesn't have much, but he gives me the most he can possible give. I would continue to explain how amazing the feeling of being in love is, but I realized why there are so many songs and movies about love...it’s because the feeling is so amazing that it simply can't be described using words, no matter how hard you try.
We come from different families. I've been handed everything in my life by my parents. I am 18 years old and have never worked a day in my life because my parents provide everything for me. Richard on the other hand, has had to work for everything on his own. I come from a Nepali family. In the Nepali culture, people usually get arranged marriages, in which the parents pick out the groom. Occasionally, people get love marriages but only with a Nepali person. If a person marries outside of the Nepali race, the whole family is disgraced. The married couple is usually shunned by their own families too. It’s different. Richard is African American. The Nepali culture is not racist, but interracial marriages with Caucasian or African American people are like an automatic ticket to get shunned out of the Nepali community. Now most people would say "Pick love! Love wins! Love over everything!” However, I don't only love my boyfriend, I also love my parents and family. They've given me everything I have. I do not want to push them away. My mom knows about Richard and accepts him but whenever she speaks about my marriage, she automatically says I will have a Nepali husband.
This story doesn't have a happy ending, in fact there isn't an ending at all. Today, I am still with my boyfriend because if I have someone who will move mountains for my happiness, why throw that away? As for the future, we'll see how it goes. I just want girls to know a couple of things; One: if you have the freedom to fall in love with whoever you want, don't take it for granted, Two: relationships are about so much more than just the materialistic things; Three: never compare your relationship to anyone else's; And finally: If you truly love something, don't give it up easily and without a fight.
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