Having The Courage To Come Out

Having The Courage To Come Out

   Freshman year was a confusing time. Being exposed to a new environment was all very new to me, as well as a transitioning sexuality that I began discovering within myself. I had little girl crushes on peers and friends of mine, which didn't last long. I told myself that it was wrong to feel this way due to being raised in a Catholic household and the fear that I'd be shunned by my family and God. Towards my sophomore year, I began becoming more open to the idea of attraction to girls, although I still liked boys as well (or bi-curious, which eventually turned to being fully bisexual). I guess you could say that I was destined to cross this path sooner or later because I crushed on a few female teachers since the age of 6. At the end of 2013 I met a girl named Faith who I began talking to on Twitter because of a photo I shared on my Katy Perry fan account. I was instantly head-over-heels for her and the rest was history. Unfortunately she lives in Florida, almost 12 hours away from me but luckily we've been able to see each other numerous times in 2015. I was in disbelief to uncover that I could not picture liking a male, loving them, or being physically intimate with them. I was fearful of making Faith and I official but my feelings for her were too strong to be just friends so on August 29, 2014, we made it official.

   During my junior year, I knew that the only way to truly be comfortable with my true sexuality was to come out to friends that I could trust. Eventually, the news spread to strangers at my school and I became more confident in telling people that I was a lesbian. To this day I'm very proud of that decision I made. I was shocked at the amount of outpouring support and interest that people were willing to give me, and to educate the ones who didn't quite understand my story. On June 26, 2015, gay marriage was legalized in all 50 states and I decided to come out to all my followers on Instagram. This included peers who didn't know me that well, friends from up north, and others. I was so humbled that my post was able to touch others emotionally and receive so much strength and love by their caring comments. My senior year allowed me to completely be out of the closet to students and carefree if people knew that I wasn't straight, as well as joining an LGBT club that my 2 friends encouraged me to become a part of. There were a few ignorant students behind closed doors who tried to say that it was an act because I was fully attracted to males 3 years earlier. I know that there are people with different views who think that it's wrong to love the same gender. I know in my heart that I shouldn't have to justify who I am because of the confusing journey I went through in discovering who I am. Now, I'm nearly in a 2-year relationship with the girl I love and I'm proud of my progress in openly expressing who I am. My message to those struggling with their sexuality or any adversity is that everything happens for a reason and it's going to be okay in the end. Focus on your happiness and you will make it out strong. I love you and so many people love you. You are a blessing to this world and you have a lot to offer to it. In the words of Katy Perry, "be yourself and you can be anything."

Cover image from Google

Instagram : audrey.rdrgz

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