If only there was an easy way out, if you could just let it go and ignore all the pain that you feel in your stomach, chest, and head. There's no way to ignore the feeling of a broken heart, there's no way to just let it go the moment it happens. It sits in the back of your head and the scream you want to shout is sitting on the tip of your tongue, if you hold it back for long enough it could drift away, or it could come out and you can scream every feeling that you're thinking. You can feel the boulder lifted off your shoulder as you hear the loudness of the yell, the only feeling that comes after that, the one you were trying to ignore, is the feeling of being alone. Even in a room full of people, you could still feel alone. You could be smiling with happiness being around everyone, but what's the actual feeling that you're having in your head? The pain.
When someone deals with depression and anxiety, life is experienced through many different views. When people look at them they don't think they're checking them out, they believe they're judging and hating them. When people get hurt and move on the ones with the depression hold onto it, they hold onto it until they can hold onto something that comforts them. That something could be someone's, eyes, touch, scent, it's something that they can cling onto. When they experience situations they think of that certain someone, that someone turns into their comfort zone and they fall in love with them, they love how easily a weight gets lifted off their shoulders when they talk to that person, they love the chills they get when they hold them in their arms and slowly rub their thumb over their hand, they love everything about that one person. They put their trust in them, in hopes they never walk away.
Don't waste your energy on negativity. One thing my teacher said to me in middle school once, and ever since then it's stuck. "There are ups and there are downs in this world, in everyone's life, no matter who it is." Seems when it comes down to it everyone dwells on the downs more than focusing on the ups. Why do we sit around and be sad about things that happened weeks, months, years ago? Why do we never remember the good but always the bad? Why do we always love the bad and not the good? Being negatively minded about everything will get you no where, you won't be happy. Everyone has the power to change how they look at things, to change the way they get treated, and to change the ways they become happy rather than upset. You have the right, you're human, you are you, you control your emotions. The sad passes away and you move on, but why do you keep holding onto it in every new thing you do or every new person you meet. You can't keep judging situations because of how they played out in the past. Life is all about new experiences and If you keep dwelling on things you can't change you'll never make any of those. Don't let the negativity consume you, let it help you grow, let it change you in a good way and keep on learning. There's no such thing as everyday being a bad day. Smile at a stranger, give a compliment, pick your head up and get out of the negative thoughts. Embrace who you are because of the battles you fought.