Dealing With An Unstable Ex
Although I've only been in two relationships, everyone has had that ONE that stood out from the rest. Granted, I had dealt with crazy ex-situationships, but this time was different. It takes a lot for me to open up to someone, and ease up on my commitment issues. I'm a very independent girl, and it takes months for me to feel like I could solely commit myself to someone because I need to know if you can stand the rain *in my Boys To Men voice*.
So when I met him my first impression was he was a stuck up, arrogant and ignorant boy. (Always, always, ALWAYS, listen to your gut feeling ladies!!) We started out friends, and after a few years he built up the courage to ask me on a date. I was very hesitant and repeatedly rejected him, but he insisted. So finally I gave in because I thought "what the heck, why not? How bad could it really be?" The first date he opened the car door, payed for everything, complimented me every chance he got, etc. The second date he cooked for me, we talked politics (which is my weakness), and all that other good stuff. Each date was like this. Even the late cookout runs or going with him to get his hair cut.
As this time was passing, me being the person I am couldn't help but to think to myself "I wonder what his demons are." Because Lord knows we all have them, some just take longer to show their faces. Given I am a year older than him and girls are already six years more mature than boys, I started to identify his child-like behavior and it became a problem very quickly.
In a matter of days we went from 100 to 0. When I told him I felt like he was disrespecting me, he said he "couldn't see" where I was coming from. In other words, he tried to say since he can't understand my feelings, they are not valid and therefore he does not need to apologize for making me feel this way nor change his behavior. Our relationship came to an end with an argument in person where he felt the need to put his hands on me, then dragged this mess on via text message. I won't get too deep into the nitty gritty details of his immaturity, even though I'm sure we would all get a good laugh out of it, but it came to the point where I finally made the decision to leave him.
A month, and some change after the breakup, and he is still on Twitter retweeting things like "wasted time on that whore" and "never trip off a female", meanwhile he's been the one blowing my phone up in hopes to get me back.
It's frightening how immature he is and what a lesson learned it was to share such a beautiful part of my life with such an unstable person. Sometimes it's hard to refrain from wanting to just post the screenshots of his pathetic cry for help in my messages, but I know I am better than him, and he is lost with no way to know how to find himself. Knowing he is sad enough to have to slander me indirectly on a social media site speaks for itself.
I guess my point with this is never let go of who you are as an independent, strong minded girl for some weak boy who wants to corrupt you internally as well as externally. He may not be able to love the right way but that doesn't mean you have to stay and deal with his mess to teach him the things his parents should have. It is not our job to raise a boy at this age. So never let one disrespect you, in any way, shape, or form.
Enjoy your life as a young, beautiful, and smart woman. The world is ours.